For everyone who is sick of STUPID CRAP email

Someone sent this email to me and I loved it. I am so sick of getting email telling me to boycott KFC because they grow alien chicken, or to forward something or I'll die of dutch elm disease immediately. I am amazed at how gullible people are! So, for everyone who's as sick of it as me....


NOW EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME ...

I will not get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my
mailing lists if I don’t forward an email! I will not
hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-
mail.

Bill Gates is not going to send me money, Victoria’s
Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate
they're supposed to send me and Ford will not give me a
50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than
50 people!

I will never receive gift certificates, coupons, or
freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or
anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people. I will
never see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ...

NEVER! My phone will not mysteriously ring after I
forward an e-mail. There is no such thing as an e-mail
tracking program, and I am not stupid enough to think
that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail
to 10 or more people!

There is no kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish
program in England collecting anything! He did when he
was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old
and doesn’t want anymore postcards, calling cards, or
get-well cards.

The government does not have a bill in Congress called
901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if
passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every
e-mail we send. There will be no cool dancing, singing,
waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I
will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. The
American Red Cross will not donate 50 cents to a
certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease
for every e-mail address I send this to. The American
Red Cross receives donations.

And finally, I will not let others guilt me into
sending things by telling me I am not their friend or
that I don't believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to
send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will
burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on!

Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it
memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your
friends before the next full moon or you will surely be
constipated for the next three months and all of your
hair will fall out.






Emily, Princess of the Known Universe, Ultimate Beginner and she who often falls off her bike

you forgot the part about how I like all my body parts
in their current size and shape.

or am I the only one who gets those?

Duckman
Tribe member since '02
International Rock Star

"I'm in shape, round is a shape."

Emily has a very good point once again. A very wise friend of mine sent this to me once, and told me that any time that I recieve a chain letter, to send it back to the person. Feel free to cut and paste this for your own use. Read it and see what a fun guy I am.

The Anti-Chain Letter
YXA B AXD A BXA D OXO

WITH STUPIDITY, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
This letter has been sent to you to stop you from sending out chain letters. The original was written in the 3rd century A.D. by a deranged member of the Most Holy Post. That version vanished during the Spanish Inquisition (Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition !!!!!!!!!). More recently, it was communicated telepathically to Shirley MacLaine by monks on the planet Mongo
in the eighth dimension. Now it has been sent to you. Good things will soon be happening to you if you follow the instructions given in this letter.

This is no joke! If you do what this letter says to do, every person who owes you money will repay you. The IRS will never audit you again. Hugh Hefner will invite you to house-sit at the playboy mansion while he and the missus go on a six month vacation. Finally, you will be spotted by a head hunter and whisked off into the fast paced life of an insurance salesman in Kansas.

To get all of this good fortune, you must keep this letter for the next five years. If at any time during that time you receive a chain letter, don't send out any copies of it. Instead, you must send
this anti-chain letter back to the person who sent you the chain letter (If you don't know who sent it, send a copy of this letter to a random person). At the end of five years, do the following 'de-briefing' ceremony, and you will be done:

Throw salt over your shoulder.
Throw salt over Zha Zha Gabor's shoulder.
Throw Zha Zha over your shoulder.
Walk under a ladder.
Do the rhumba under a ladder.
Pray the rosary.
Pray the zippity-doo-dah, zippity-ay.
Drink Vitameatavegimin (3 tablespoons at a time)
Mix 2 frogs, 3 locks of Michael Jackson's hair, 2 turtledoves, and the remains of this letter in a cauldron and boil at 375 degrees for 2 hours and 3 minutes.
Place the whole mixture in the microwave on saute for 6:53 and place in serving bowls, then chill.
Gargle, then spit.

DO NOT IGNORE THIS LETTER. If you do, nuclear war is a definite possibility. You will develop psoriasis, gout, hemmhoroids, herpes, and/or a common cold. Some day you will definitely die if you ignore
this letter!!!!! Furthermore, your next-door neighbor will start a manure farm in his backyard and begin playing the bagpipe (late at night usually). You may even be forced to spend an evening with an accountant and an insurance salesman discussing their work.

A police officer from Temecula won the publisher's clearing house
sweepstakes. A girl in Chicago got the letter and continued sending out chain letters anyway. She died a month later when a ream of paper fell off a truck and crushed the Fahrvervgnugen out of her Volkswagen Bug. Madonna obeyed the letter and discovered the razor. A lot of women didn't follow the letter's instructions and became mothers of Wilt Chamberlain's illegitimate children.

Don't send out those chain letters and see what happens. You will be shocked to find that none of their curses come true. The person you send this anti-chain letter to will be heartily amused, and besides, its much easier to send out one copy of this than 5 or 20 copies
of some dreary chain letter.

Do note the following: All of the passengers of the Titanic received this letter. When someone on the boat started a chain letter going, they all ignored this letter and passed it along, and the result is history. Dick Grayson carried out the letter's instructions and
became Robin, Batman's Boy Wonder. Both Mike Tyson and Robin Givens received this letter and threw it away. Then they got married. Clarence Thomas followed the letter's instructions. Charles Keating didn't.

In 1987, the letter was received by a young woman in California. It was very faded and barely readable. She promised herself that she would not send out any chain letters. A year later she forgot, and
when she received a chain letter, she faithfully typed out the ten copies of the letter and placed them in envelopes. She developed breast cancer, and the doctors told her she would lose both breasts. While rummaging through her desk looking for a bottle of sleeping pills, she found this letter. She immediately threw away all of the copies of the chain letter she had prepared. The next day, the doctors told her they had mistaken someone else's X-ray for hers, and that she was perfectly healthy. Now she's a showgirl in Las Vegas.

Remember, send no chain letters. Do not ignore this letter.

Malookie Nookie

It Works

The one and only.
pineyflatracing.tripod.com/
Tribe Member since Spring 2001

Duckman... my personal favorite is getting the ones that tell me I can enlarge my P*nis. I don't have one. Why do they send those to me?????

Tob... that is the funniest thing I've read in a long long time. I love it.



Emily, Princess of the Known Universe, Ultimate Beginner and she who often falls off her bike